DIMINISHING RETURNS

"Motherfucker," you mutter lying on your stomach.

"But you came."

"Towel!"

"Ok, ok, Jesus ... don't have a cow."

Or child, you think, asshole motherfucker. When all you ever wanted was that pulse of life inside you when walls crumble and death is just beyond the pale of understanding, like gravity, the ocean and the existence of God. A shot at immortality, wasted, withheld, pulled from without you, a wound half healed.

"Here," he says, swabbing your back.

"No offense," you say, wringing the pillow as if it were his neck. "But next time, fuck yourself."

By Steve Hansen

9-07-96

Mushroom HIGH

As if, for example--you could just
take a plum...any plum would
do--the important factor is who's
eating it.

You open the doors to your mind
like opening up your mouth. You
never know what will come in
or out. But when open--the
mouth can slowly take in the
plum. The mind can take in the
plum, when attended to slowly
with the front teeth...the plum
can begin to be heard, understood
appreciated.

The front teeth do the thinking--
the intellectual front teeth
(sounds funny) anyway--the front
teeth talk to the plum--welcome
it. The back teeth just accept it.

by TJ

Misheard Lyric

hoser machines
falling in love with you
a winding sickness
that slows you down
staring at the floor
take my hand
blow a hole in my shoe

by antoinette j'dite

Bongo

Laughing and then left alone
She slumps to the ground in her
Mind-feeling the most pain
She's sure anyone has ever felt.
SAME MOMENT
When she believed she'd formally
Met the sidewalk-she was
Still walking and looking away
From everyone. Occasionally,
She'd chide herself for looking
Down, even if she needed to see
Where to place her next step.
Defiantly, she gets off of the
Ground-she has to look up
Then-and pulls herself along
The side of the building. Even
When I saw her, I could tell
Bongo was still with her. I
Could tell by the way she
Was walking. I guess you
Could say Bongo has a way
Of making a girl walk a
Whole lot differently. Anyway-
She was still plodding away
In her funny little cramped
Up walk when I saw her.
She was pulling herself
Along the building. Suddenly
Afraid that he'd hear her,
She started to cover her
Mouth up with the back of
Her left hand. Her crazy
Red lipstick smeared and
Melted, trying to glue the
Experience to her. When I
Saw her she had no lipstick-
She didn't wear make-up-
Never had. I did think about
Her often-but was not able
To personally connect with
Her-in a way-I could
Tell this frustrated us
Both-well, I'd introduced
Her to Bongo. Bongo was
With her everywhere. Even
Now, she turned to see
If Bongo had seen her duck
Down the black and white
Alley. Afraid of the confrontation
And even more afraid of being
Trapped here forever, she pulled
Her clothes back around her-
Even as broken as everything was-
She still always managed to
Make herself presentable. She
Could, even now, hear the
Sound of the sirens. Someone
Had called them then, the
Pulsing yodel of the electronic
Warning reassured her-but,
When I saw her, she walked
Onwards-clutching her head. She kept
Hugging her body.
I even saw her put a hand over
Her sex, and in an exploratory
Fashion, I saw her run her right
Index finger over her sex. This
Was what appeared to cause the
Sudden calm that came over her.
Soon, I would miss
Her. She would be gone again-
I would be left alone again-
Alone-trying to reconfigure what
It must be like for her in the
Places where Bongo hunted her.
I'd never been one to share-but
Getting her hooked up with Bongo
Never seemed like sharing.

by CosmicGirl