Interview Page

Flush Fiction Magazine--October 2001

Interview Page

E-zines, like print magazines, frequently include interviews. Here are some examples of the question-and-answer formats I might use for interviews.

An Interview with Pink Underwear Girl, a performance artist who lives in the DC-metro area.

FFM: Where do you get your ideas?

PUG: I try to draw my ideas from real life as much as possible, such as things I notice on the street or conversations I overhear.

FFM: What has the response been to your most recent installation?

PUG: Most people have been very disturbed by it. Death threats aside, I feel this is a good thing.

a star is born

FFM's interviewee does not wish to be photographed at this time so we must respect her wishes however insignificant they might actually be compared to Pink Underwear Girl's.

For the Love of Kat Grosjean

Kat and Tonya on a Hot Tin Prison Roof

Tonya: Why can't you lose your good looks Kat? Most drinkin' women lose their’s. Why can't you ? I think you've even gotten better-lookin' since you went on the bottle. (As she caresses the brass bedframe. Yeah. Brass beds in prison and alcohol in a bottle. Women’s prisons…) You were such a wonderful lover...You were so excitin' to be in love with. Mostly, I guess, 'cause you were (pause)...you know. They call that ambidextrous, right? If I thought you'd never never make love to me again (pause)...why I'd find me the longest, sharpest knife [must read more Freud] I could and I'd stick it straight into my heart. I'd do that. Oh Kat, how long does this have to go on? This punishment? Haven't I served my term? Can't I apply for a pardon?

Kat: Lately, that finishin' school voice of yours sounds like you was runnin' upstairs to tell somebody the house is on fire.

Tonya: Is it any wonder? You know what I feel like? I feel all the time like a cat on a hot tin prison roof.

Kat: (offering a solution) Then jump off the roof, Tonya, jump off it. Now cats jump off roofs and they land uninjured. Do it. Jump.

Tonya: Jump where? Into what?

Kat: Take a lover.

Tonya: (Angrily. Making “you bitch” eyes at Kat) I don't deserve that! I can't see any women but you. With my eyes closed, I just see you. Why can't you get ugly Kat? Why can't you please get fat or ugly or somethin' so I can stand it?

Kat: You'll make out fine. Your kind always does.

Tonya: Oh, I'm more determined than you think. I'll win all right.

Kat: Win what? What is, uh, the victory of a cat on a hot tin prison roof?

Tonya: Just stayin' on it, I guess. As long as she can.

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Paraphrase Artiste interviews a Jeff Rose Production

ACT III-Resolution

It was spring, the season for clarity [er, Claritin]. Inside Pepe's, a swinging absinthe bar, a Pre-Weird Al Yankovich paraphrase artist has stopped by to swing around some absinthe whilst spotting clothes and faeries and to eavesdrop. Outside, people were looking in but couldn’t make out the characters due to resolution. Must have been the glass.

German Philospher: Weird Al Yankovich doesn’t fit this scenario very well.

Pepe: Au contraire! I zeenk zat he feets verry well. E ees, ow do you zay, a propo.

German Philosopher: I believe that I said something about a priori. You need to follow a method of logic! Structure.

Pre-Weird Al Eavesdropper: My arm doesn’t work. There’s something in my drink. Who’s lobster is this?

German Philospher: FOCUS!

FFC: I do the directions here!!

Pepe: Anozer dreenk, mon ami? Per’aps some wiiine?

FFC: Why not, I made it anyway.

Pre-Weird Al Eavesdropper: Can I borrow your time table? I have some ear-wigs that need adjusted. OO OO. I can see through the bottom of your glass to ends of the earth. I think that’s a secret, military plan taped to the bottom of the table.

German Philospher: Meine GOTT! This character does not fit at all into this act! Someone throw him out.

FFC: Must I remind you, yet again you Kraut bastardization, that I call the shots?

Pepe: Shots? Mais oui! Per’aps some vodka on zee rocks? Creestal clear alco’ol. She is always zee best bet, non?

Hot liquored eyesight cleared up all confusion. The debate between the properties of absinthe and vodka are well documented. The resolution dropped on Act II like a bomb. Outside, people were looking in but couldn’t make out the characters due to resolution. Must have been the glass.